I held them in my hands while she fucked me slowly. All I thought about was this sinner committing a sin with a priest. I didn’t want her to stop. The pleasure she was giving me was amazing even though it was a mortal sin.I was so excited and stunned that she was making me break my own vows with God. I let out a moan and ejaculated up inside of her pussy. She fell on me, and kissed my mouth hard. I was filled with grief and sin. Grief that I had broken my vows. I had now experienced pleasure, but also committed a major sin. I knew I was doomed.We got dressed and drove back to my parish. She immediately wanted to confess for her sins and we prayed together. I told her we would never speak of this situation again. After that meeting, I never saw her again. I dreamed about her day and night. I wished she’d come back and perhaps we could embark in a new life together.The next few weeks I had trouble listening to confessions and having masses in the church. My mind and body just kept. " I should have told you about having a child. It was wrong of me not to." Why?" Because leaving it out makes it look as if it didn't matter to me. As if Ididn't care." Is that the case?" No of course not." Well, I didn't think so. It's often the things that effect us the most thatwe can't talk about." I tried to be a parent to Phoebe. It was the most important thing in mylife. I would never have transitioned if she gave me any indication that sheneeded me to stay around and be a father. But the fact is it came to thepoint where I hardly ever saw her anymore. Maybe we'd get together once ortwice a month. Maybe we'd spend an hour or so together at some restaurant.The other 95% of the time, I was by myself, living a false life, pretendingto be someone I wasn't. For who? It would have been hard enough if I weredoing it for Phoebe's benefit. But was she really getting that much out ofthat ninety minutes a month that it warranted me sacrificing my whole life?Parents make sacrifices for.
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