I wanted to hold Grace’s hand, but I reframed from making any flirtatious overtures in front of Beth. I felt it was better if she saw our relationship as simply a friendship. A little after 9:30, Beth started to lean on her mother as we walked, and her eyes got lidded. It was time to tuck Beth in for the night.We went back to Beth and Grace’s room, and I helped tuck an exhausted sixteen-year girl in for the night. Ten minutes later, she was fast asleep. Grace got out her beach blanket. I took the beach blanket from her, set it aside and took a hotel room key card from my pocket to show her. She smiled with understanding.The room I had rented was just down and across the hall from Grace and Beth’s room, but it was a single and didn’t overlook the ocean. Since we were only going to use it for a couple of hours, I didn’t think Grace would mind, and she would be close to Beth.I opened the door for Grace, and she went in and looked around the room. She sat on the bed and bounced a couple. Yes, I felt very righteous back then, in Dallas. And hurt. And pissed off all over again. But I held her in my arms 'til morning.Now, back in the Houston Hilton, I stared through the screen. I knew I didn't just feel depressed. There was anticipation, too. The anticipation of a little boy with big clever plans. Would it work? Would she follow the instructions? Or would she suspect something? In matters of intuition, Myriam had always been the cleverer one of us. She might smell a rat. But why would she? Wasn't this just a job for her? Pubic Relations? I shuddered at the awful word play. Disgusting. I chased the grin off my face.No doubt revenge was part of my motives. The need for closure, too. But I loved to tell myself that there was a third, nobler, less selfish motive. I had to show her who she really was. I had to kill this silly delusion of love she had — I had to free her. Maybe just as much as I had to free myself.Was I being cruel? Maybe. "I'm only human," I had told myself.
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