. from the dead way you make love. It's like making love to a corpse... Sometimes I feel like I'm jacking off..." Insults that had been festering in him for months began to bubble up from his guts and he had to make a conscious effort to stop himself, knowing he was going too far. The stricken look on Pam's face quickly sobered him, and he fell silent, but he knew both he and Pam were far past the point of no return. He had said things to her that no woman could for give. He felt an overwhelming urge to get out of the bedroom and out of their goddamn new dream-house. He wanted to go to the office and to its endless conspiracies and counter-conspiracies, a world he knew much better than this hopeless attempt to understand his beautiful but fucked-up wife.With a smothered curse he rolled off the bed and stalked into the bathroom. He barely took time to wash and shave, and when he came back into the bedroom, Pam was still lying where he had left her, staring blankly up at the ceiling.. Very quickly the news that Ashleigh padded out her bra and wasn't very good in bed became known to everyone, including Ashleigh by the end of the day. In front of everyone at the lockers, she slapped me, but I didn't care a great deal. I ended up sleeping with another girl called Tanya by the weekend and then her friend Stacey the following fortnight. My reputation grew, and I set my sights on the other girls, older than me in the sixth-form, remaining unobtainable to the ones in my own year.I began sleeping with women my older brother knew, preferring those with experience; anyone who distracted me from the constant jealously I felt over Justin. I even seduced the lab technician, fucking her at lunchtimes, after being wound up from watching Justin flirt with Sarah during our science class. Ashleigh never forgave me, but it didn't matter because I had my own concerns. I just ignored her and got on with my life.Looking back now, I know that I was entirely in the wrong. I could have.
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