By the end of today you will have beaten the skateboarding cat." The pasta flew around Lisa's bedroom making sarcastic comments to the web cam about the posters that she had used to cover her walls during a pubescent boy band crush and hadn't bothered to change since. But the deity saved his greatest contempt for the prop she had brought to the exercise. "Bolognese? Really?" the spaghetti monster asked the camera. It picked up a scoop full with the ladle and poured it back into the pot, "Is that a way to greet a pasta based life-form?" "I, I, didn't think you would be here," Lisa stammered. "Oh, I, know, I KNOW!" the pasta thundered, "I am omnipresent and omniscient, remember. I know everything that was, is and ever fucking shall be!" "It's not my fault, not my fault!" Lisa began to cry.The unexpected guest was surprisingly needy considering that he was an omnipotent deity. "Sorry, sorry, I know that, I know that." the pasta began to babble and tried to comfort the girl with a noodly. She was wearing falsies! Her real breasts were about the size of a young girl's breast that had just started her path to womanhood. I think I just found out about the biggest joke that had been pulled on the boys of our school. And I couldn't tell anyone or I'd blow my cover!Trying not to be too obvious, I continued to get dressed for gym. Penny's leotards were made so that no one could tell she had no breasts. Remembering what John and Paula told me. I said or did nothing out ordinary. As I stood with the rest of the girl's gym class, I watched the boy's class enter the workout room. Half of them had their gym pants tented up within a couple of minutes. Every male in the room, including the boy's instructor, had a bulge in their gym pants after ten minutes of the class. I enjoyed the thought that my body was helping to cause so much discomfort.By the middle of class every boy had to go back to the locker room for a few minutes. Every one of them returned with wet hair. I didn't have.
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