I never pooped every day. Why should I do it when I was sick? But I loved skipping school. Everything about being sick was just great except the possible enema and it seemed I always forgot about it throughout the day until it was too late.My problem was I usually had a lot of fun laying in bed playing with toy trucks and I’d forget about the inquisition of questions coming when the old man arrived home after a hard day at work. I could lose time in my imagination playing by myself and you’d think he would forget about that damned thing once in a while. But no.First thing in the door after parking the car in the garage, fix himself a drink, a High Ball. Then the inquisition started with lighting a cigarette and taking the edge off the frustration of the day’s work by getting a little buzz on. What a concept. Park the car in the garage, come in and kiss the wife, fix a stiff drink, light up a smoke, loosen up and ask the big question before sticking a hose up one of the kid’s asses.. "You haven't been told, but there's a reason that you have auditioned as Harmony's boyfriend; it is beneficial to both of you. Harmony needs a boyfriend. You need to become a man."He went on to talk about sexual orientation and testing—most of that went over my head. I think I got the gist of it, though."What about Miss Krystal?" I asked. "Harmony and Miss Krystal are getting married." It is going to be an open marriage," Commandant Mackie patiently explained. "Miss Krystal is going to train you to be the perfect man for Harmony. Do you know how I decided that you'd be good for Harmony?" No, sir." You passed the dog test," Commandant Mackie's statement confused me. "I see that you don't know what I'm talking about. Goofy and Dopey really like you."Goofy and Dopey were the commandant's Dobermans. Goofy was male, but female Dopey was the dominant and more aggressive dog. Goofy was brilliant—and a bit timid. I haven't mentioned them to this point—or the fact that I was usually on kennel.
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