I was literally a woman before being a man in my eyes. Still this moment defined my sexual awakening and awareness about sex, sexuality, and fetishes. Many fetishes to come. Women's clothes always caught my eye. Glimpses of my mom and sister as they were getting dressed or undressed. When their garments were drying on the clothes line. Blowing gently in the breeze or placed on top of the clothes basket and sprawled on the bed ready to be put away. Better yet, all placed in neat stacks in the dresser drawers. Panty hose, underwear, dress slips, and especially bras. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE BRAS! ( . Y . ) They are a very unique garment specific to women. I love the shape of under garments, the colors, the sheen of the silk and satin, the lacy delicacy of the fabric, the sheerness of hosiery. It collectively attracted me and still does to this day. Even when walking through department stores while shopping, the under garments and lingerie departments were almost over whelming and attracting. Every time I think I want to let it go, I give in and give up and let the pain, not the dominant, act as my master. Will this internal struggle ever end for me? It calls out to me in the middle of the night when I am lonely. I can’t believe I actually thanked God for bringing Cassius into my life because he enjoyed giving pain as much as I enjoyed receiving it. It’s a crying shame to say I can not see a day when I will let go of this thrill and rush I get with every infliction of pain to my body. Help me, Lord! The clock on the night stand next to Cassius displayed in large red numbers the time of two in the morning, so she persuaded herself to get some sleep. She silently hoped that perhaps she and Cassius would just enjoy the rest of their visit sex-free. Much to her mixed feeling of chagrin and pleasure, she was awakened by her friend’s strong dark-skinned hands squeezing her breasts at five thirty in the morning. Her moans gave way as she allowed her wetness to escape from.
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