. My wife wanted more attention then she thought she got ... She believed she deserved more of whatever she wanted, and somehow that whatever included sex.So I stopped beating myself up. I don't preen or pose, though ... Too artificial pretending to be anything else to enjoy myself, is the way I look at it. I know I'm not Brad Pitt, but I'm not Lyle Lovett, either ... and besides, Lyle did all right, didn't he, at least for awhile.But I was angry, after I stopped beating myself up. How could she dare to destroy the promise of what we had shared? The bitch! Instead of holding hands and looking out at friends and family at our 50th anniversary, I found myself trying to decide if I could trust anyone enough to risk trying to love again. And for me sex had always been associated with love.I ate at home, which meant I learned how to cook. I exercised, since I wasn't dating, which meant I actually got into shape ... better shape then I had ever been before; better shape than most of the. We went back to the motel and got back into our swimming suits. Reggie's had shrunk again so I just enjoyed the view. As we were playing by the pool, I asked if there was anything else she wanted to do or go see."Not really. It's nice to have the option, but it's even nicer to be able to say no. I just want to lay in bed with my lover."We floated on the pool rafts for the rest of the afternoon, only moving enough to flip when we started to get warm. For being on a road-trip type of vacation, we were getting some serious sun. Reggie was in full bloom with the freckles that a natural red (auburn) haired woman has for her complexion. Unlike a lot of women so blessed, Reggie just embraces it. I think, no, I KNOW, she has the attitude that she was made this way for a reason and she was going to enjoy it. I just love a person who is happy in their skin.I think it will be fun to count and tag each and every freckle with my tongue. That is definitely on the "To Do" list for this vacation.We.
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