’ Fuck, I was such an idiot. I was going to tell her the truth. ‘A kitten actually. God, I loved that cat. At night sometimes, I’d smuggle her up to my bed and she’d curl up with me.’ I watched Amy’s face soften. ‘I was six, you understand – I was still little.’ I could feel my face get redder. ‘Anyway, it’s Peanut, the kitten, you remind me of, not peanuts, the food.’ ‘Oh.’ ‘I won’t call you that anymore, if you don’t like it.’ ‘No, that’s okay.’ ‘Really, I’ll remember.’ ‘Charlie, it’s okay. I like it, now that I know why.’ ‘Well, great.’ We sat there in silence and drank the last of our cappuccino. ‘So whatever happened to her?’ Amy asked softly. ‘Who, the cat?’ Amy nodded and I shrugged. ‘She finally got sick of my sisters dressing her up in doll clothes and took off one day.’ ‘Oh Charlie, I’m so sorry. You must have been devastated.’ ‘Not really,’ a lie – I’d cried for weeks. ‘I knew whose fault it was.’ And, I knew how to get even, but that was a part of the story I had no. “Ho Ho Ho”, he laughed reaching down and snatching me off the toilet as if he were lifting an infant. “Ohh” I teetered when he grabbed me up in his powerful arms. Santa turned around, sat down on the toilet seat, and sat me down on his lap. “Have you been good this year little boy?” “I don’t want to play this game”, I said. I tried to stand up but he grabbed tight in his arms forcing me to sit. “You don’t believe in me do you?” “Dude…,” I said “you’re not Santa Clause, and it’s March. “Have you been a good boy?”, he repeated slowly holding me so tight I struggled to breath easily. “I… I don’t know”, I stammered. Despite everything that was going on, I found myself strangely aroused by my circumstances. As I struggled to free myself I slowly realized two things. One, that I couldn’t escape if I wanted to, so strong was this man. And two, that I didn’t want to escape. Santa could have had me anyway he pleased and I would have been powerless to stop him, even though I.
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