Here I was doing exactly the thing I despised so much in others, idly speculating without any facts. For heaven's sake, the damn thing, whatever it was, was no more than twenty yards from my feet. It shouldn't be beyond the wit of man to devise a method of reaching it. A few moments calculation indicated that, as the object was closer to the back of the copse, I would be better to brave the brambles.I returned to the shed and dug out my machete. The rhododendrons and I may have come to an amicable agreement but the same could not be said of the brambles which would invade the garden and take it over with absolutely no compunction unless I maintained constant vigilance. There was no entente cordiale between the brambles and me; it was all out war. Any bramble that showed its face in my garden received no mercy. Consequently I quailed slightly at the idea of taking the war to their own territory, so to speak. But my curiosity was roused and if a man is not able to master a bramble, he. He groaned loudly and muttered something foreign that I just couldn't catch. After all, I wouldn't recognise the French word for "bastard" now would I?I was half-tempted to make the final couple of strokes diagonal ones, but I didn't want to blow it by being too sadistic. That could keep for another time! Right then, I landed two bracing parallel stripes on his French flesh. He jumped up and jigged around, rubbing his bottom vigorously. His member was half-erect, and open to admiration."That's enough of that, Henri," I admonished, "Now be a good boy and fetch me the martinet." Oh, Jim." Just do it!" I barked in my best military tone.He duly presented the martinet to me. It was a strange item to these English eyes. Often referred to as a dog whip, this particular one was a rough and cheap item. The handle was poorly fashioned, but the leather lashes were rather more professionally finished. I really had no idea how to use it, but figured it couldn't be that difficult. I led.
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