"Try them on. I hope they fit."I didn't have to look too closely to realize that this was not somethingI'd have purchased for myself. I knew already though how sensitive shewas about what she'd bought.The jeans were decidedly designer looking. The appliqu? on the backpockets was sewn with gold and silver metallic thread, much like on herskirt. The legs were fairly narrow looking as well. I stepped in thelegs and pulled them up as far as they'd go. Even before I fastenedthem they were a bit snug to my crotch. I was afraid they were toosmall. Grace was watching me closely as I struggled to get them on."These are a little tight," I pointed out."Yes," she agreed. "That's how they're cut. It's a bit of a newwestern style," she explained.I was finally able to get them above my buttocks and pulled to my waist.They didn't have a zipper. They snapped up the front. I started tofidget with them when Grace handed me the shirt and told me to put it onfirst, as it had to be tucked. A siren blares outside of the room I have rented for a week. The flashing red and blue lights penetrate through the barred window, briefly spreading a ghastly illumination on this tiny space as they speed away, answering a call for help.I lay on the floor in my sleeping bag, a deep yearning clamping painfully around my heart as the siren slowly fades out. I need help, but there's no one for me to call. And who would respond? I have done this to myself.There's a bed a few feet away, but I won't sleep in it. The thought of all the lost souls wasting their existence on that infested mattress saddens me. The prostitutes and their johns. The drunks pissing themselves. The addicts shooting their fix into their veins.It's not any belief that I'm better than them that makes me choose to not sleep there. No; I belong here. I am just as lost as any alcoholic, junkie, or whore who has ever stared at these same four walls.The reason I choose the floor is because I am alone.I wasn't always like I.
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