"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door."Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya"."Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?" That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery." Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me." I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?" It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned." Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?" Well, Brenda, no; in fact, he got out three times to pee."Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his. When I opened the door, I was shocked. I mean, Barb was a good looking woman when she was in dirt covered shorts and t shirts, but that night she had on this little white cotton summer dress with pink flowers that fit her fucking good! She had a bag of limes in one hand and a bottle of tequila in the other. I didn't know what to say, I kind of just stood there staring at her. Finally I told her to come in. I told her that dinner might be a bust. She said that was okay, that she made a mean margarita and she held up the limes and tequila. She took over in the kitchen and salvaged the chicken. Dinner was great, we laughed and experimented with our margarita making techniques. After at least an hour of laughing and flirting and really just having great time. She offered to do the dishes. I told her I'd help but she insisted. I don't know if it was the tequila or the fact that I was so horny for her, but as I watched her standing there in that tight little dress leaning over.
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