" "Lesbian vampires!?" "Their victims. You have a rather eroticised reaction to the sight of these naked, blood-drained, corpses and, well, there's no nice way of putting this, take your belt to Valerie and fuck her in a frenzy of sadistic lust. Following which you decamp to Ostend because you're going to catch the ferry to England to present your new bride to your mother. Who, and don't ask me why, is a corpulent, cross-dressing sissy. With me so far?" I think so. It's a bit weird, isn't it? Where are all the lesbian vampires?" "Just arriving, in the form of me, the Countess Bathory, and my courtesan, the stunningly gorgeous, Ilona. Hold a mo, let me find you a pic of Ilona." "Fucking hell. She's..." "I just love her hair. That Seventies bob cut. Black like her soul, gleaming in the candlelight, captivating the camera with her every movement." Look at her fucking tits. Wow." "And her lips. Full, red, suckable, kissable, a plump invitation to feast and devour her entirety." "Fucking. "Yes, Commander Wallace, your naval rank has been set even though admittedly, it is provisional pending successful completion of training. You'll have to spend some time in command school to hone all of the skills needed to manage people in a military environment but your recognized mentoring skills will certainly not hurt you."I finally nodded. "All right, so what do I do next?"She grunted. "Your score of 7.1 should have netted you a total of four concubines. You were picked up late in the cycle and we had to leave Earth orbit shortly after we got you so we can't go back for more. Unfortunately, despite having started the trip with a pool of seven extras, we only currently have one ... ummm ... spare. She was traded in for one of the others."Tony, standing at my left side, snorted. "Six fucking deaths. That's the highest body count I have ever seen on a pickup ship! It kinda puts me off any interest in a burger for days afterwards."Colleen nodded, a grimace on her face.I decided to.
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