It was a Giovani Battista Rogeri of outstanding quality and workmanship, made out of two-hundred-year-old wood that gave it a thicker, deeper and richer tone. The deep tones of his voice and the way he described it, made it sound erotic and sexy. It was like he was an extension of his own instrument. But then, aren’t men always like that?Michael was a renowned and excellent bass player and the fact that he was suave and sophisticated and downright handsome with it added to my interest, but what got my full attention was what he told me he could do with it and he did it with such panache, whispering in my ear whenever he wanted to imply his intentions and speaking normally otherwise.I didn’t believe him for one minute, but he stood there in his black tuxedo, sipping champagne and nibbling at the hors d’oeuvres while telling me about the sexual ability of a double bass, not any double bass--his double bass. There were plenty of influential people within easy earshot and I couldn’t help. ”The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment. Then looking over his glasses, he casually asked, “Was that one word, or two?”The Office PartyJohn, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.“Louise,” he moaned, “tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?”“Even worse,” she said, her voice oozing scorn. “You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.”“He’s an asshole,” John said. “Piss on him.”“You did,” came the reply. “And he fired you.”“Well, screw him!” said John.“I did. You’re back at work on Monday.”How To Stop Church GossipMildred, the church gossip and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other.
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