Some part of me felt bad about asking. Only aftera certain Saturday I would finally understand the emotion that I was feelingnow. GuiltI gave in, but reminded her that she had promised me. She flew into a rut ofrage, and slammed her bedroom door almost in my face. I wanted badly to talkwith her, I was hurt by pushing her to the limit. My own rage flared up, andI cried out for her to open the door and talk with me. The door was locked,and I got a screwdriver to pop open the lock. But when that didn't work, Islammed it into the door. I heard her call someone, and I freaked out entirely.I ran down to my bedroom and using what little I knew about phones, tried toget her to stop. I ran outside, away from the house, trying not to be seen.The idea that I now was a runaway gave me hope somehow that it all was over.I wanted to take off and never be seen by anyone I knew again. I had no moneyand almost no smokes, but I hoped to get away from a life I knew I wasscrewing up.I got more then a. “Why did your relationship with her end?” she asked. I was a bit startled by the subject change, but rolled with it. My father used to do this to me all of the time.“She was going to college, and I was going into the Army,” I answered.“Right, and if the two of you had stayed together?” she prompted.“Uh, if we had stayed together,” I was thinking furiously, “I mean like if we had both attended the same college at the same time?” I tried to clarify.“Yes,” Anna confirmed. For some reason I don’t think that is what she meant, but it gave me some clarity.“I guess we wouldn’t have broken up,” I answered.“Right, and would the two of you have married?” she prompted. How was I supposed to know? I didn’t like making guesses in a vacuum.“If we hadn’t found other people that we liked more, or were more compatible with? If we had managed to stay together for the years of college and graduate school? If life hadn’t thrown too many obstacles in the path of two kids who thought they were invincible,.
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