Kerry turned to me, was now watching me, and then on seeing my need, her concern morphing to disbelief: "Martin! I hope you're not thinking what I think you're thinking?" It would be a kind of closure." The-fuck-it-would! I'll tell you what it would be, shall I? It would be an act of fucking insanity, that's what it would be. I'll phone us a cab." No. We've paid too much to be here to just up and leave. I'm going over to say hello." Oh no, you're not, mister. And apart from performing harakiri on your sanity, you'll only embarrass the poor girl. There are lots of other lovely people for us to play with."As we stood undecided, Alice turned and did a quick scan of the room. She saw me staring, and for just a moment our eyes met, became tangled. It was an instance of mutual awareness and saw it in her eyes: that I was a stranger to her.It was a shock to realise she no longer recognised me. Had I changed that much? I suppose I had. After Meg's death, I'd gone to ruin. The nightly. They spoke at least twice a day on the phone. This was becoming a disaster. I awoke the next morning and immediately grabbed my cell phone. No messages. This was the nightmare that I had feared. I got up, showered and prepared to run errands. Then finally, the phone rang, and it was Sarah. I took a deep breath and answered. “Hello”, I managed to muster in my best nonchalant voice. “Hi Jeff, its Sarah, how are you?”, was her reply. She began to tell me how busy at work she had been that week. She said that she had thought about calling a few times but never got up the nerve. I confided to her that I had did the same thing. Suddenly two people who used to always get along were now struggling to even hold a normal conversation. “Look Sarah”, I told her, “I think we should have a talk when you have time. We can’t leave things like this between us. Can we meet up when you have some time.”“Sure”, she replied, “I am working today. I am at the office alone on Saturdays. This would be a great.
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