My sister at age 14 tried to burn down the house and hang herself in the back yard. She was also a cutter and had five attempts to commit suicide. My parents had her committed and the bulk of their estate was block granted to the hospital to care for my sister." I was speechless and Chris went on. "My father, after my mother died, just did not sit and die from a broken heart or some sort of illness. My Father killed himself. He put a gun in his mouth and holding a very old family picture, he shot himself." I was speechless, once again. "Why didn't you tell me about this?" I asked. "This certainly has caused you some pain, wouldn't it have been nice to maybe discuss this with someone you loved?" Chris then told me about some of the 'problems' she was having, that started at age 19. She was on regular meds to help her 'focus' as she put it. She never shared the name of the med. "I went off the meds shortly after we started hanging out as you were making me feel much. The far stars were diamond bright points that winked and taunted him. He was tied to this ball of rock and dirt by bonds beyond even his strength to break. He dropped his eyes back to the world below. Gone was the green and blue that he had loved to hate so. Now there was barren rock and dirt. The world was back to the way it had been when he first came into being. Even the pitiful creatures were gone. The animals and plants had never mattered but then man had appeared. He sighed again. Man had been fun in a contemptible way. They were so far beneath him but then again they had something he needed. They had a spirit and a freedom that was scary even to someone who had never known fear. Why had he allowed them to breed and multiply? To this day he didn’t have a clear answer to that one. The closest he ever came was to say he was lonely but that wasn’t totally true. He was his own best company but he did get bored. That had to be it, he needed something to break the monotony,.
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