“He’s super cool, mom,” said my little man-child, who then, not-so-tactfully said, “You should date him.”“Kev!” I exclaimed in horror, “Since when do you take an interest in my personal life?”“Since I saw how he looked at you,” Kevin shot back.“And pray tell me,” I asked, “How did he look at me?”“With his eyes,” Kevin shot back.“Well,” I replied, “I am so thankful it was with his eyes and not with anything else!”“Mom!” Kevin pressed, “He looked at you differently.”“How so?” I pressed.Kevin chuckled.“Mom,” he replied, “I might be ten, but I am not blind and a little boy anymore.”My little man was growing up way too fast.Kevin’s proclamation made me feel old. I was forty and single by choice. Kevin’s dad had abandoned me long before Kevin was born. I had to struggle and save to get what little we had, and we lived on modest means. I sure wasn’t looking to mess anything up at this point in life.The next day, Ray wandered into the office again, a money order in his hand.As he handed me. "Um, I'm sorry," she stammered, "I didn't mean to, well, I mean I've never felt that way about you before. Oh crap."When she spun around to make a quick escape, I caught her arm and said "It's ok, I felt it too, and honestly, I'm really glad I did." What do you mean?" she asked puzzled.I gently pulled her down onto the couch beside me and turned to face her, still holding her hand and rubbing my fingers against her palm. "I recently realized that I'm very much in love with Xifeng and I've been really worried it would mess things up. I mean, the last few nights with Steve helped him catch up to her in my heart, but I really only feel complete when she is around. Honestly, up until now, I haven't really felt anything either way about the rest of you except some camaraderie, and it was really starting bother and worry me. I was afraid I would be forced to sleep with people I wasn't interested in, or even worse, have sex with people who didn't really want me to. What we felt just now when.
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