Am I gay? Am I a lesbian? Am I transgendered? Am I bisexual? Within this stage there may be a denial of inner feelings as a person continues to see themselves as a member of the mainstream, heterosexual population. Some may consider their behaviors as ‘just experimenting’. Some people in this stage might keep emotional involvement separate from their sexual activity; others may choose to have deeply emotional relationships that are non- sexual.Step Two: Identity Comparison At this stage, a person may try to find an explanation for why they are having the feelings they are experiencing. "Maybe I am gay. Or maybe I’m bisexual.” Feelings of isolation & alienation are common in this stage. A person might wonder “Is this a phase?” “Am I only attracted to this one same sex person, or is this going to be a permanent trend?”Step Three: Identity Tolerance.In this stage, a person might begin to accept identifying as gay, lesbian or transgendered or bisexual. Some might come to terms with some. But was it my imagination or had the light from the door at the far end of the room brightened? I tried to concentrate on the screen, but was suddenly gripped by fear. I tried to swallow to lubricate my dry throat and mouth.I got up, looked round and sat down again, rubbing my hands together with anxiety. Suddenly, I wished I were far away from here, in a pub in Chelsea with some mates watching the match. Dressed in jeans and sweatshirt. Not in some species of hell, halfway across the world, freezing to death in a sleazy pink rubber catsuit. Shit. I began to cry.After a while, I collected myself and looked over at the door again. Taking a breath, I rose and made my way through the mess of computer parts and diacarded Jolt Cola cans to the door. I sat down with my naked back on the door and looked up. Something had changed. Before, only the red corridor light had spilt through the viewhole from beyond. Now, I could clearly see the faint blue pulsing light mixing with the red glow.
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