Getting hit had never bothered me all that much -- my batting style invited it, because I tended to hang around too long in the box, waiting for the ball to break back over the plate.Whoops! That one didn't break!Getting plunked in the elbow or the butt was one thing, but getting it in the noggin was far more serious. The pain from head shots could be long-term, and the threat of permanent injury was way too great.Two different specialists at Hopkins warned me that it was imperative that I find a way to keep it from happening again."What do you recommend?" I asked them."A specially designed helmet," the first doctor said."Goggles," the second guy told me.Well, I wasn't proud. If wearing goggles could help keep me from getting effectively blinded by a pitched ball, I'd damned well wear goggles.But after trying a wide variety of the things, I found that most of them would fog up, or the lenses were of unreliable quality and would negatively affect my vision.Finally, I found some thick,. As for those other two guys, who knows? It's 5:30, and I'm home. Another evening home alone in my apartment. I'll pop a frozen dinner in the microwave, turn on the news, and in a little while, settle down with the net. A visit to Fictionmania, hope that I find a couple of good new stories, otherwise I'll re-read a favorite or two; some on-line role play with one of my friends; in short, another day of an empty life. A life that's empty because I'm not who I'm supposed to be. I'm not a woman. I've known for decades now that I'm supposed to be female. I might have been six years old when I realized I felt happier around girls and had more in common with them, from wanting to play with their toys to desiring to wear their clothes. The need never went away. I kept hoping that it would, but it never has. For a variety of reasons I have never seriously considered pursuing sexual reassignment surgery. My wrestler's build, for one. My family, for another. Now that my forties are almost here,.
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