The soft fabric I felt against my skin and lightly tentedpanties reminded me that I was wearing a nightie, and as I realized whatday it was, I felt my heart begin to beat rapidly in fear, excitement,and anxiety, but I couldn't place whether it was fear about today andexcitement that my ordeal was over, or excitement about today and fearabout what came next.The last few weeks had been a rollercoaster of emotions I was barelyprepared to process now, let alone in those moments then. My mindfluctuated so hard every day between loving my new clothes and wanting tokeep going and accept my feminized persona and be Lily with Erin all thetime, and hating what I had become, wanting it only to be over andregretting that I ever had to be chosen in the first place. I loved mynew clothes and I loved Erin, but I was ashamed to love them like I didand I was afraid of what others really thought of me. I remembereddressing up for our date in one of my favorite outfits of the wholeexperience. She said. ‘No, oh god, what is happening?’ she exclaims as she collapses her full weight on you. You feel your face get drenched with a colorless, odorless fluid, clearly not urine. Rather, her water has broken, perhaps from the stress of the sex or that last ass slap, regardless you are drenched from the neck up in amniotic fluid. You push her off of you. ‘Oh my god, what was that?’ you shout in panic. ‘The baby is ready to come out. Can you take me to the hospital?’ ‘Oh my god, the baby’s ready?’ you stammer. ‘Did I cause that? Wait is the baby mine? I was the last one to have sex with you so does that make me the father?’ She stares at you dumbfounded, ‘Are you really that dumb?’ She reaches over to the nightstand and picks up a phone. You cannot hear her conversation as your head is still trying to go through mental notes of high school health class…You weren’t using a condom and now a baby is coming. Of course you are the father. You come out of your trance when you see Claire come.
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