My old self would have tried to seek her approval and given her control of the situation and done anything she had asked. Jennifer had driven a stake into that self, and helped me understand why I used to do things. I hadn’t yet fully come up with a way to decide what to do and what not to do, but I was working on it.Part of me wondered whose approval I was seeking. Jennifer’s? Stephanie’s? My own? Not my mom’s at this point, that was for sure. Society’s? God’s? No, certainly not God’s. Thinking about Stephanie reminded me that I hadn’t told her about Becky. I’d have to do that soon, and if Becky’s dad was going to call my parents, I needed to make sure Stephanie knew beforehand.That was a conversation I did not relish having. I’d take my medicine and, unlike I had with my mom, I’d accept it without argument. I’d accept it because Stephanie had been right from the beginning. She had warned me about Becky and she had told me to break it off cleanly, and a ‘clean break’ in her mind. This went on for 2 weeks. I felt this was working quite well, as she was chatting with me even after her husband had slept after coming home. One day while she was making dinner in the kitchen, I followed her, and stood behind her.The moment she turned, she lost her balance and was about to fall, when I caught her and pulled her closer to me. We were very close to each other and she had closed her eyes. I went down to her ear and whispered I Love You and planted a kiss on her cheeks. She got back to her senses and distanced herself from me and yelled by saying this aint right. I thought I had messed it up until I received a message later in the night which said I am sorry. To which I replied “it is ok. No problem. I was just expressing my feelings for you. I loved you since a long time but never expressed it as I felt that the time was not right. Did not want to tell it this way, but it was that moment and I just could not control. I am sorry if I had hurt you.”The next message took.
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