Sloane.Being well versed in the art of social conviviality, I shortstopped the impending business discussion with what, in the higher corporate circles, is called an ice breaker.“Ms. Sloane, I’m thinking of having my shirts monogramed. Spiffy, no?”“No.”“Huh?”What’s wrong with Bertram Owen Osgood Brewster?She handed me a pen, “Write the monogram out, Birdie.”Done. I gave it the double-o, and it took but a mo, “Oh.”“Birdie, Ms. Lane asked me to bring you up to speed on Gibraltar Soup.”Huh? I’d been Assistant Account Exec on Gibraltar far longer than Ms. Sloane had even been at BB.“What’s the primary goal of our Gibraltar Soup campaign?”“Sell more soup!” Easy one.Ms. Sloane seemed to sigh and settle down inside herself. If you know what I mean.“Birdie.”“Yes ma’am.”“You do know that soup represents less than five percent of Gibraltar’s net revenue.”“Huh?”Why call it Gibraltar Soup?“I’m sure you realize that once they bought a fleet of delivery trucks in 1996, they created a. Looking around the living room, working on my second bottle of wine, I noticed a blank spot on the wall, and felt a shiver down my spine. That was where the picture of Tom fishing with the girls should have been. I stood up and started noticing things. Things missing. Not much, just a few here and there. Moving into the kitchen, I noticed our Wusthof knife set was gone. Tom’s precious cooking knives, which I wasn’t allowed to use after cutting myself twice. I ran up the stairs, and my fears took form. Half his clothing was missing, most of his toiletries, as well as his watch collection and jewelry box. I groaned, growing more frantic by the moment, trying to remember where everything should be. Itemizing in my mind the things he’d taken. The document fire safe we kept in the closet. His high school trophies. My jewelry case. His bedside phone charger. I ran from room to room, dialing his cell repeatedly, shrieking into the phone, begging him to call me. In the garage most of his.
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