We had been talking regularly, trying to come up with an appropriate bottom line for the wedding. ‘It’s more of a general concept. In some ways it’s easier for me to think about it that way. I’m not a member of a royal wedding. But that may also mean I expect to have more things my way. ‘Maybe the best way to describe it is I want to be appreciated, no, worshipped on the most important day of my life.’ ‘Well, that’s easy enough. All you want is deification.’ She thought that was hilarious. Jen had a sizeable list of must-haves for her wedding. I knew I would never get everything on her list. I decided to make my own list. It wouldn’t be me just rattling off a bunch of things I wanted. I would make a written list. I decided to try to start with the most important items at the top of the list. 1. At the end of the ceremony I had to be married to Jeff. 2. The ceremony must include a rabbi and a chuppah. 3. All of Jeff’s family must be there. 4. My closest friends must be there. That was. School girl back, yay! She ran her fingers up my arms and tilted her neck back for my lips to explore further. I did. We were just finding each other’s lips and beginning to get with some serious making out and heavy petting when a crash came from somewhere downstairs. ‘Miss MIT-ENS!’ cried a six year old. My wife and I looked at each other and sighed. Yup. Moment toasted. We rolled out of bed and retrieved our clothing. She must have sensed my leer and threw me a smirking glare over her shoulder. She tossed my boxers at me with a flip. ‘Later, Don Juan. Go fix your children breakfast.’ ‘Yes dear,’ I replied with a smirk of my own. ‘And get the cat out of the food bag please, before she barfs it all over the floor,’ she added as I pulled my shirt over my head. She disappeared into our bathroom. There is nothing like the word ‘barf’ to kill your amorous intentions. Sighing, I went downstairs to face the day. Judging from the sounds of cat hurcking, my day was starting with.
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