Maybe Violet also saw me as a bit of athreat? It would have been so easy for Ally to stay on the JV team andlead them, even if she couldn't compete myself, and become more of ajunior coach. I appreciated that Ally had her own ambitions though andmade her own path forward, taking the riskier path fraught with theperils of self-doubt, regret, and fear of failure.I turned to face Britney and held her arms to reassure her, "Don't youworry about me - I'll be fine Bea. And you'll be a great captain too.Just lead the way you feel comfortable with, and the girls will back youup."She seemed surprised by my solemn tone and giggled. "Wow, so deep!" Notreally, but to a sophomore maybe it did sound quite profound. She smiledand continued, "I'll do my best. And if anything happens... well, we'dlove to have you back!"I'm sure she meant those as kind words, and maybe Ally would haveinterpreted them as such, but I knew I wasn't going to put Ally in aposition to have to even think about. I would think that many of the women felt the same about guys that they were interested in. I guess it's all in the heart of the beholder. Some are able to separate love and the different sex acts. They could love a woman or man that had sex with other people they knew. I just wasn't made that way.I can understand a loving relationship going awry and the couple breaking up. Each going their own way and marrying other people, but fucking my friend's fiancée and them getting married the following week was a bit much for me.Ruthie was a girl I bedded down with quite a few times in my freshman year. I really began to like her. I could see her being a good long-term partner. I even think I told her that I loved her numerous times. I was getting serious about her until I got to one of the parties late and she was letting Randy, a black ball player, feel her up on the dance floor. When they sat down on a couch, Randy had his hand up her thigh and onto her pussy. She just spread her legs for.
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