I have regretted this decision ever since and to my shame; at times haveblamed my mum for not forcing the issue.Coward.Fast forward and my mental state and inability to deal with my conditionhave caused me to be unreasonable and confrontational. At approximatelyage21 my relationship with my parents, especially my father havedeteriorated beyond immediate conciliation. In secret, I negotiated amortgage and bought a house, moving out of their home whilst they were onholiday. It took a long time to rebuild a good relationship with the twoof them.Having moved into my own home, the temptation should have been to bewhatever and whoever I pleased, the reality though was that societalconstraints and the need to be accepted by my workmates ( my only peergroup as I had no one I could call a friend) meant that I felt anoverriding need to conform.I not only continued to hide the real me, I started to date a femalefriend of a male colleague. She was the first person I ever developed asexual. Nice curvy, not fat, figure. I stood there watching in the window and getting so fucking hard. I started stroking a bit and felt like I was going to cum. So I stopped and went inside. I wasn't going to dump a load on the patio. I went in to finish myself off but just couldn't. I wanted to finish while I watched. I guess my cock got greedy.I grabbed some paper towels and headed back, I was going to drop a wad watching. I came back out and as I closed my sliding door, the neighbors sliding door opened and Gina was right there with a robe on and said "what the fuck are you doing?" I was pretty much at a loss for words and didn't know what to say. I mean there I was in my pajama bottom pants with a raging hard on and a fistful of paper towels. All I could say was "I heard a noise". What a stupid fucking answer I know. She looked at me and chuckled a bit. She then said "oh yeah and what noise was that?". I had a feeling she was going to be friendly because she didn't seem mad, more.
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