I don’t remember walking down the hall, or fumbling with the electronic key, or opening the door. I do remember hearing it slam shut behind us and a soft groan followed by lips and tongue hungrily probing .My hands caressed her sides, eliciting another moan. It sounded just as I’d imagined- full of passion, longing, shame- all the parts of a good catholic girl’s soul. She wasn’t the hard-body of a magazine pin-up. She was fleshy, not fat and it felt real and so even sexier. Her quivering lips left mine for a moment, then desperately returned for more. At last, we took a deep breath and just looked into each other’s flushed faces. Her lipstick was smeared, and a clump of mascara clung like a cyst to one eyelash. God she looked great. ‘Are you sure,’ I asked. I’m not sure which one of us I was asking. ‘Yes, I need this.’ This, she said, not me. I relaxed a little. She didn’t love me, had no desire to take me away from my comfortable life, or even see me again. She wanted the. " Beth! I can't take your camera. There's no way I can afford it!" Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, you're doing it again." Doing what?" Thinking you have to pay for everything you get! I didn't say I was giving you the camera, just that you wouldn't have to bring it back all the time. I just want a camera I can carry around with me and I figured that if you bought it for me you wouldn't feel so guilty about ... about..."Damn, she knows me too well. I WAS feeling guilty about using her camera and making money from it."Okay, I'll get you a camera. Do you have one in mind?" No. I don't now anything about cameras, that's why the Nikon was sitting in my closet!"Our food came about then and it gave me a chance to think about what Beth had said, and what she hadn't.She was right, I was uncomfortable taking anything that smelled like charity. My dad had told stories of growing up in a poor family and how much his father had hated accepting handouts and I guess the idea of paying for what I got carried.
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