I turned to face Jill as we crossed the street. Her face was lit in green, then amber and finally red as the light changed for the nonexistent traffic. ‘Thank you for letting me. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy seeing you like that.’ ‘I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it, either,’ Jill added. Her facial expression, colored by the traffic signal, was still apparent. We were now walking down the alley between the theater and the store next door. I stopped and pulled her to face me. ‘I’ve thought about you every time we were changing up there, alone.’ Jill just smiled. I took a deep breath as I decided to go with the urge. ‘Jill, are you seeing anyone right now?’ Jill’s expression fell. She looked down at the gravel below our feet. When she spoke, it was so quiet that I could barely make out the words. ‘I don’t have time right now for a relationship.’ My heart fell like her face did. I tried to reason out what she really meant. Was it me? She must have sensed my concern. .. Each morning Cunedda sent me, basket in hand, seeking. Each day I opened my heart a crack more to the garden's soul, to findthe plant that best showed the quality I sought. My searches grew less painful -they had to, or I'd have died!- in partbecause I learned the garden pathways by heart. In part, but that was not the sole reason my injuries lessened. Iswear, there were times when I stumbled along blind, that the bushesand trees moved out of my way!A morning came when Cunedda handed me my basket, kissed my forehead andsaid:"Find love."The symbolism ~the irony~ wasn't lost on me: once a bloodied warriorseeking death, now I'm a maid, wandering among flowers, looking forlove. I roamed for hours, trying every trick I'd learned to find an herb orflower that was love. I sensed it, but I couldn't pin it down. It seemed everywhere, butjust out of reach. Maddening! At last, I heard a faraway voice calling:"~R-o-s-e.~" I raced after it. As I said, I knew the garden well enough.
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