Mom and I had not really talked since Dad died. But I did not see any reason to correct her illusion that we were still communicating and talking.Gary’s absence caused my anxiety level to jump. My mind raced with all kinds of scenarios about what he was feeling and thinking, and what he was doing right now. I was concerned that he might be sharing the details of this morning with one or more of his friends. That thought scared me beyond belief.I tried to focus on my homework. Mostly, I just sat there, staring at my physics book, reliving the events of the morning, and working various scenarios about the future in my head. The daydreams both scared and excited me. Try as I might, I could not purge the vivid images from my brain, and my body reacted to the memories; I was wet and aroused, and ashamed that I was. And my anxiety level was at an all-time high. After struggling with my homework for over an hour, I had only completed three of twelve assigned problems. I decided to abandon. . this was it… did I say yes and see where things went or did I say thanks for the offer and go back home. I knew what was there… at home… a marriage I wanted out of and a man I no longer loved. As he stood there… my scarf tight in his hand, he smiled at me and said I know a nice little coffee shop just down the street… shall we… as I looked in his eyes I swallowed hard and said yes. I couldn’t believe I was being so bold.. to be going with someone I didn’t even know.. and the other things I was thinking… well … I should have been ashamed. Once outside the store he said it’s such a lovely night why don’t we walk.. it’s not far. A walk on the starry night with him… I had to be dreaming, hurry pinch yourself… ‘ Ouch ‘ It’s real …I’m here with him. He took my arm as we walked… I had a hundred things I wanted to ask him.. but at that moment I just wanted to be there.. with him. Once we got to the coffee shop he opened the door for me… I was thinking a gentleman too. He picked a nice.
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