"Hold hard young Pinkerton, why are you dallying with the mem sahib?" he asked."No idea sir," I explained, "Your daughter is fat as a pig sir," I said inelegantly, "Lady Garth came to remonstrate."Carry on then," he said from the doorway."Daddy Lord Pinkerton has shown entire disrespect for myself and our family," Molly cried."But you are as fat as a pig dearest," Lord Garth admitted and nodding towards his wife he continued, "And watch that one for she'll eat you alive sir," he added as an after thought."But my honour, challenge him Oswald," Lady Garth insisted."Challenge, why he would win hands down," Lord Garth averred, "No you challenge him if you see fit, I am taking a walk around the park, good day."Lady Garth stared in disbelief, "He," she started to say."Is a very wise man, Lady Garth," I added, "May I wish you good day?" "No indeed you may not!" Lady Garth insisted, "Not until this matter is settled."I groaned, my head was far from cleared yet, "Then allow me some privacy. I felt a little better, but was still terrified of facing him.Later that evening, during dinner, my father said, “Tommy we need to have a chat.”I absolutely choked on my food and asked to be excused. I ran to my room and was sobbing when my father knocked on my door. He opened the door and entered.Closing the door, he said, “Tommy your mom told me what happened today.”I was mortified and unable to speak.“Look son, I’m not an old prude, I’m well aware that young boys have sexual urges and seek relief my masturbating. Hell. I did it myself. I probably failed you by not having a man to man talk with you about sex. We will have that talk soon, but in the meantime, you need to be much more discreet and try not to masturbate in your room. And, by the way, don’t worry, you are not going to go blind, that is just an old wife’s tale.” He said.I stopped sobbing, and said, “Gee dad, you cannot believe how relieved I am.”We did have that talk and many more thereafter. I had a great dad. I spent.
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