”“Well that’s surly all that matters. Besides I did say earlier that it’s just one work colleague helping another in need and you certainly seem to need the release”.“That not exactly what we were talking about at the time”“Ok, so the massage got a bit more personal that planned but it was still only a massage I tried to convince her. “I think it was a lot more that a massage she snapped. Look I think you had better go”.I lazily stroked fingers across her stomach, she brushed my hand away but let go of one breast. “Stop you’ve done enough” I rubbed a finger over the exposed nipple which sprang to attention.“Are you sure”?She covered her breast again. “Stop it please”“Why? Are you frighten you might enjoy it if we do more”?“We cannot do anything else. I’m in a serous relationship and I won’t put that at risk”.“I’m not asking you to, all I want to do is give you some pleasure”“Don’t give me that, you just want to have sex with me! I can assure you it isn’t going to happen”“If you mean. " Although outdated, its themes of loneliness, ofisolation, of alienation, and of forbidden and tragic love still resonatedwith me, as they had with Beth, who recommended that I read the book.She'd found it in a second-hand bookstore, a few months ago. Reading it,she said, had been a life-changing event for her. I wouldn't characterizeit in quite those terms, perhaps, but I could see why the novel had spokenso powerfully to Beth; in some ways, she was the modern-day equivalent ofBeebo, only, unlike Beebo, Beth is totally femme, rather than butch, a"lipstick lesbian," in today's lesbian-sexist terms. It is I, who wasnever (or was never as) "lost" and "lonely" as either Beebo or Beth, butwho am much more "boyishly appealing"--who am blatantly butch."At least," she qualified, "I think I'm ready."I closed Beebo Brinker's quest of self-discovery upon the bookmark--alavender ribbon decorated with a column of inverted pink triangles ofdiminishing sizes--and gave Beth my full and undivided.
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