On the drive home, I thought I might becoming addicted to blowjobs. I even thought about sucking cocks myself, but quickly put the thought out of my mind. Once home, could not think about anything but the blowjobs I had received. I would masturbate and my thoughts returned to seeing my cum in his mouth. Now there was no queasiness and my thought again turned to the idea of me sucking cock, and I masturbated to great orgasms. Later the next week, I decided to visit a gay and bisexual web site that I had heard about. There you could chat with other visitors to the site. I met a guy that lived about thirteen miles from me and during our chat I admitted that I had let a guy suck my cock and even had thoughts of sucking a cock. This was a huge admission on my part. He told me that his wife would be away the next day and if I liked we could meet and see how things went. He gave me directions to a gas station near him where we could meet. I was nervous as hell driving to the gas station. I. I knocked, waited then tried the door, it was unlocked. I called and went in. Climbing the stairs, I continued with my tentative ‘hellos’. The flat’s door was unlocked as well. That’s when I found the room, the body and the books, more questions but no answers. I tried to look at the room afresh. The body bowed forward as if worshiping a long forgotten deity, which may well have been the case. The unfinished books, the obsession with longevity. It seemed ironic that a man performing some ritual in the quest for immortality should die in the middle of it. Then again, maybe he died at the end of it. Was completing it his destined task? All those books he could have finished. Perhaps so long as he hadn’t completed the ritual eternity might have been his. I mused on the fruitlessness of trying to cheat fate and fate was against me in my task to complete my book. With a wry smile I shrugged and got up and start to leave. As I did I heard a noise upstairs. At first it was just some.
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