’3. She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE’ - She is a ‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.’4. She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ - She is a ‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’5. She does not ‘NAG’ you - She becomes ‘VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’6. She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’ - She is a ‘LOW COST PROVIDER.’HOW TO SPEAK ABOUTMENAND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:1. He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ - He has developed a ‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’2. He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ - He is ‘OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’3 ... He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ - He ‘INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’4. He is not ‘BALDING’ - He is in ‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’5. He does not act like a’TOTAL ASS’- He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’(Loved this one!)6. It’s not his’CRACK’you see hanging out of his pants - It’s ‘TROUSER CLEAVAGE.’This is likely a repeat but it is worth a re-read“As good as this bar is,” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there’s a wee place called McTavish’s.The. She's only my step-daughter and she can be a handful." Molly paused again, thinking. "I'll be out in a little while and you can swim." OK. thanks. Should I just wait here?" Yes. In fact..." she paused, and looked at me. She still seemed worried about something... "I've known you now for, what, a year?" About that." You seem pretty grown up for your age. How old are you Tommy?" Fifteen." I thought she knew that. I was the same age as Timmy, almost."Fifteen. Hmm. I guess that's old enough to be trustworthy, isn't it?"What the hell was she getting at? "Sure," I said. "I'm trustworthy." And you're really an adult. You're not a little kid anymore."I nodded. It seemed the thing to do. I couldn't figure out what she was leading up to, but I liked being thought of as grown up. Then she seemed to make up her mind."I think I can trust your discretion." she murmured that, more to herself than to me. "It'll liven things up, at the least..." Then to me: "Why don't you come and wait inside."I.
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