I could tell from the syntax that it was probably written by a fourteen year old who'd decided to try his hand at the craft. The many misplaced modifiers, incorrect uses of contractions, and other grammatical errors began to grate against my nerves. The story had over ten thousand likes! Ten thousand people had looked at the piece of trash and decided that it was worthy of a positive review.I went to go down-vote the work, when I noticed a small in-site add. "Calling All Writers! Story Contest: Two-Hundred Dollars to the Best Porn Writer". I quickly jotted down the site address so I could visit it again. I needed that two-hundred bucks.That's when I heard Chris' irritating laugh fill the room. Apparently he found my interest in the porn story hilarious. When I told him that I was going to enter the contest, he just shook his head. "I've seen your writing, bro. You're gonna need some help."---Chris looked like he was about to defend himself, when he had an idea. "I know what you need.. There's no real purpose for them other than to look cool since you don't often comb your side-swept bangs out of your face. Well, other than the occasional convenience to you there isn't any other purpose. You really just want to impress and intimidate people before they find out how dorky you are.Only moments ago you received a call from your friend, Roseanne Jackson, or Roz as she prefers to be called. It's actually very rare that she dials your number in favor of just walking into your house unannounced, so when you heard her voice on the other line you could only presume that it was something serious she needed your help with. As you pet one of your two cats, Lagoon, she described to you that she had a stomach virus and asked you to help watch over her because you're her closest friend. You try to imagine it that way because all she actually told you was "Stomach virus. Get your pretentious ass over here and be my mother for a couple days." She never really had a way with words,.
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