“That’s the way things were. But since coming to terms with how I felt toward you recently, I thought a lot about you and those times you visited. I got to wondering if you still felt that way about me and when you said you were coming down to see me I thought I would find out. I understand now it’s okay to have those feelings. It may sound a bit crass but it’s not like cheating. But then last night did happen and…” she trailed off and stared at her knees not focusing on them. Apparently she’d hit the mark on that gnawing feeling in the back of my mind. In that instant, I felt I had betrayed Tera out entire marriage because of my infatuations with Jean. I married believing Tera was like Jean and loved her like I would have loved Jean. I must have shown anger on my face as she got a worried look on hers when she looked up at me. The memory of Tera and the idea that I betrayed her seemed to be the wound that wouldn’t heal. Jean’s eyes glistened and tears spilled. I knew. “I don’t like the idea of that at all,” Pepper said with a frown.Deciding it was time to teach Pepper how to use a shovel, Craig said, “Drop the shovel and step over to the side.”Pepper dropped the shovel and walked away to the full extension of the chain. He said, “Okay.”Craig went over and picked up the shovel. He then proceeded to explain and demonstrate the proper use of a shovel. After a couple of shovelfuls of dirt, he asked, “Do you see how to use it?”“You make that look pretty easy,” Pepper said.Craig said, “It is easy. Now dig a hole that’s four foot by four foot and six feet deep.”Pepper picked up the shovel and reproduced what Craig had shown him. As he worked, he said, “I don’t mean to complain, but I’m taller than four feet and I’m not four feet across.”“What are you talking about?”“Well I don’t want to spend all of eternity scrunched up like that,” Pepper said. “If I’m digging my own grave then I ought to be the one to decide the dimensions of it. Maybe I want it ten.
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