My heart was bumping like for a marathon.I was not even feeling jealousy. Jealousy is for something one can reach. I could not even dream of competing with these guys. They were just in another league, far beyond what I ever imagined. I could just surrender and happily give them my wife.I was utterly impressed how large these guys were. My wife, who is quite tall, looked petite and delicate between massive and muscular legs, her hands seemed ridiculously small against their chests or their arms.My wife's ego has well suffered the tsunami of their virility. She, who is as many French women independent, strong headed, claiming, discovered her own dark zone, being a submissive, worshiping slut, undergoing rather than driving. I can tell, now, five years later, that she has really changed, I mean, her personality has changed. Forever.Like for fireworks, it all ended with some big finale, with one guy fucking her and the others coming on her face and in her awaiting mouth, by turns.. "It was tougher on Bill, I think. He has no memory of her atall."James made all the right noises and nodded and 'no'ed' at the righttimes, but I couldn't tell what they were thinking. "Do you forgiveher?" That was a strange question, I thought. "I mean, do you thinkyou'll see her again?" I dunno. We'll see. I guess. Maybe. I dunno." I can't imagine not being part of your life," they said, looking at mehopefully.I thought about Peggy and how she kept trying to make us the same. Weweren't. I thought about what Jeremy said and, looking at James, knewthat I'd want them to be a part of the child's life, if they wanted tobe. I didn't want Humphrey to wonder what his dad was like. "I wouldnever keep you out of our child's life."They looked concerned. "What about our life?"I thought about us, Fi and me, her arm around me while we slept. Theway she took my hand when we crossed the street. The "I love you" forno reason. "James, I will be honest with you. I don't know. You.
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