Once again, we were alone. Just like the night before, Mr. Caine was looming over me. Like the night before, I felt the heaviness, the gravity of his gaze, burning two blue holes through my body.What? My jaw clenched. What the hell is he staring at?“Forgive me,” he raised a finger to the tip of his nose, “you have cream on your face, Miss Foster.”Oh, for the love of— My cheeks seared as I buried my nose in a napkin. When I looked up again, his lip was stiff, suppressing a smile. Petite cochonne. That’s what he’s thinking, isn’t he? Honestly, I couldn’t blame him. If I hadn’t been completely mortified, I might’ve found it funny myself. The whole ordeal after all was ridiculous. Our running into each other out of the blue—it was farcical; the pipe dream of some opium-puffing Odettian Sphinx. I could almost smell the smoke rings. Her painted petals. His lingering smile. I bit my lip, gazing up at him. It was like I’d chased the white rabbit through a snowy door into Wonderland. I was. " Looking at it now, I was another person in another world. My real world as a wife became like a dream where you wake up and you know what it was but don't remember the details. My mind and feelings were in another place and because of my feeling of camaraderie and gratitude to John plus the sympathy for a friend the act of going to bed with him didn't register at the time as something wrong. I didn't make a calculated decision to cheat, I never thought of what I was doing in those terms. The impact of that decision didn't really dawn on me until I saw you setting in the dark on Saturday morning. Seeing you jolted me back to reality like ice water being dashed in my face awakening me from that dream! Then the full impact and implications of my actions hit me in a wave of fire and agony. Seeing you sitting alone in the dark was an epiphany! An epiphany of the worst kind! What had I done? How could I have done this to you, to you and me? Oh, God I was scared!" Oh God Early! Please.
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