Why would she ever consider allowing you any where close to her? Will she see, that you are there, because your heart won’t allow you to be any where else? Is there reason to believe, that she feels the same way for you? Can an on-line friendship develop into a long lasting relationship? Does fate possibly work this way? Is she as apprehensive as you are? Are those flutterings in her stomach from joy, or rejection? Has she spent time with you, because of pity, or just because she has some to spare? Has she finally realized, that she could do a hell of a lot better? How will you handle it, if she turns and walks away, disappointedly? Begging might help, but hopefully it will not come to that. If she sees you first, will she pretend not to? Does she know, that your being there, means you can’t go back? Will this just deepen the pity she feels for you? You’ve heard her voice, and fantasize her turning to you in the morning, to say wake up, but was that ever in the cards? Would she. My freshman year was full of late nights and alcohol. I swear to you 80% of the women there were alcoholics, they just didn't know it. In a town that small there wasn't much else to do besides drink and have sex, and every night of the week one or both of those activities were going on in someone's dorm room.My roommate Jessica was from Guymon, Oklahoma about 20 miles from the college; her father was the local high school boys' basketball coach. She was a stone cold freak, sex to her was like breathing, and it had to be done in order to live. She loved Black guys, which were the only guys she would have sex with. She grew up like I did, not around Blacks. She said she had sex with her first Black guy her senior year in high school. She was at a party when one of the basketball players at the college showed up. She said she was drunk and all over him, one thing led to another and he fucked her in her car parked in front of the party. It was the beginning of her obsession with Black.
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