“I can’t remember! I try so hard to remember your voice, but it won’t come. It’s all so dim now! I don’t want to forget! Help me!”“Peter,” she whispered sympathetically and sat down with me on the floor. “You don’t have to remember,” she said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. She wrapped her arm around me and it felt so good that I sobbed with fresh grief. I wanted her to hold me all the time. “Peter, Peter, Peter,” she said slowly. “What am I gonna do with you? We can’t keep meeting like this. Here, dry your eyes.” she said and passed me a tissue.I didn’t want to, but I dried my eyes and slowly calmed my breathing. I took a few deep breaths and then looked at her again. “I’m sorry,” I told her again. “I know you told me to move on, but...”“You’re still holding back,” she said, finishing the thought for me. “I know. I hoped you’d find someone, but, Babe, you have to leave the house to meet people. They’re out there, you know. A whole wide world full of them and one. I was meeting the last part of the puzzle in this house in which I had lived for so long. I was meeting Jazz!It had been understood that when Jazz returned I would move out of her room into the tiny guest bedroom in the front of the house. But as I looked at the three women standing above me, I knew instantly this had all changed. The good will that I believed I had been accumulating since my surgeries was not large enough to pay off the feelings I had been causing since I emerged fully as Starr. My self-absorption and arrogance was now coming home to roost. The stern faces told me that they had only been waiting for a reason to ask me to leave.I wiped the sleep from my eyes and swung my feet to the floor. My nightgown flew partially open, but I didn't bother to close it. I spoke before anyone else had a chance to say anything. "Hi, Jazz. You probably know who I am by now. I definitely know who you are. Welcome back. Listen, I've had a hard go of it, and I was just staying here until.
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