"Erin, "When should I call?" Brian, "No time like the present. Mymother is at work, but her cell is xxx-xxx-xxxx." You might have alittle hassle since she won't recognize your number on call waiting.Erin dialed the number and it rang twice and then someone answeredand immediately hung up. Erin looked at Brian. He said, "Dialagain." This time a female voice answered, "Whatever you'reselling, I'm not interested.", and hung up. Brian said, "Tryagain." So, Erin did, and got the response, "I don't know who thefuck you are and don't care. Stop calling or I'll get a restrainingorder" and hung up again. Erin was having second thoughts. ButBrian said, "Try again. You will be able to leave a message." Thistime there was no answer and the call went to voice mail. Erinsaid, "Mommy, this is Erin. I need to talk to you. I am using afriend's phone. Please call back. I would like to come overtonight. Please."Five minutes later Erin got a call back from Erin's mother. Shesaid,. Phil is going to accuse him of statutory rape and hold him until the District Attorney decides what all the charges ought to be.”“Your father is not going to be happy with you.”“Mom, I did what I thought was right for Liz. The «мудак» is going to jail.”“Mike, I’ll let you get away with that this one time. Do NOT use that word again! And how is it, you seem to know all those words, but can’t carry on a basic conversation?”“I can’t answer that question,” I replied.“Your grandfather and I are going to have words.”“Mom, cut him some slack. He and his friends do use those words. I know I’m not supposed to, but in THIS case, it was warranted.”“Care to translate for the ignorant American?” Jocelyn asked.“Uh, no,” I said. “If I say THAT word out loud, you WILL get to witness an eighteen-year-old having his mouth washed out with soap.”My mom nodded, “Exactly. Your father is going to lose it, Mike.”“I know. That’s why Jocelyn and I are here talking to YOU. She’s partly cover, partly moral.
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