Looking at things from a purely selfish perspective, why the fuck should she give up her happiness just so she could try to take a little bit of Jim's? If she were stupid enough to damage her marriage it would hurt her at least as much as it would hurt Jim and probably more. He could go running off to whomever he ran off to. She'd be alone.She was mulling over other ways to handle the situation when the decision was made for her. Jim must've thought that she was asleep. She noticed that his breathing was ragged and something was going on with him. Then she realized that he was crying. Her big strong husband, the love of her life was crying his eyes out. Charlotte couldn't get over it. It made her feel like shit.He had wrapped his arms around her to make her feel loved and cared for, but all the while he was in his own personal hell for some reason. Some reason that he couldn't or wouldn't share with her. After giving it some thought, the only thing that he could be feeling this badly. And that helped me some with the uneasiness I felt living as a woman. Mike wasn't completely gone after all. He was just hiding. He was still with me. I had to remember that. I was still here. I still existed. But I wanted the observant nature, the maturity I was experiencing now to go on. The thought gave me some comfort.I sat and watched as the people passed. Some ate delicacies that they purchased at the open-air markets along Front Street. Other's milled around and floated in and out of the shops that lined the antiquated street. You could see them through the large plate glass windows that looked in on the shops, picking up curiosities and showing them to their mates. Girls in love with fellows that bought them ice cream would walk by arm in arm. It pulled at my heartstrings. The girl I had become wanted to feel loved today as well. Suddenly it seemed that everyone on this street had a lover, someone to share the day with, her thoughts with. It was a disturbing feeling. My.
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