When we would be alone at times either in the bedroom we shared or in the living room for a lengthy amount of time while the parents were having sex, we would have dry sex as well. It was always me taking my dick out of my pants and underwear and I would get on top of her and dry fuck her. This didn't last long when we were younger, but we did almost get caught once. We were in the bedroom and I was laying on top of Mel dry fucking her with my dick out and our mom opened the door and asked what we were doing, we told her we were just pretending and she told us not to do it. Luckily I was covered up so she never knew my dick was out. Then one December night in 2000 when she was 13 and I was either 14 or 15 this changed. I had found my dad's porn stash & the parents had left to go Christmas shopping, so I knew they would be gone for several hours. I made sure Mel was fine with me watching it in the living room as that was the only place we had a tv at the time & once she said it was. My hands are strong yet smoothwith tapered fingers.What am I? Do I belong? Is there a place for a penis bearer like me? Can Ibe myself and exist happily in this world? Once I am no longer needed athome, what then? Will time change me into something else? Do I need physicalintervention like drug therapy or operations to become an acceptable humanbeing? To be a pretty teenage girl what has been done? To be a teenage boywhat needs to be done? What am I? Am I that different?I am lost deep within myself. What is myself? Is there a real me? Am Isomething that changes by my surroundings like a chameleon? Is there a, me,myself and I? I am lost within. My eyes have grabbed and held me fast. Ihave traveled deep and far within only to find what? No answers to my quest?Barbara has sent me to look at my self. A mission that is too general andvague for any true answers. How can one find oneself when it truly does notexist? One mind with two bodies neither whole nor complete in theiridentity. What.
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