"Yes, sort of. It's complex."We sat crossed-legged on the bed in my room, almost touching, a yellowlight from the window bathing the space. It was comfortable. I could hearthe dull noises of mom moving about below. She was baking. She did a lotof baking these days."I don't understand all these references to the Kabbalah," said Meghan."Neither do I," I said. "But I don't need to. They are like desktop iconson a computer; shortcuts to applications. This is how magic works." So, you're a magician?" Magician, shaman. Yeah, I guess so."I paused. I was trying to find the words to explain how this all worked.I began with something simple."Do you know why people don't know about real magic?" No, go on." Well, you've seen yourself how magic changes the universe, from what itwas to something new. No-one notices, except those in proximity. Theadept can sense the changes. But the greater world is oblivious." So, magic stays secret because nobody notices the changes." That's exactly right. Though. . " No, I want to be here with you. I just can't read you very well anymore. Just whenever you don't want me to stay, tell me and I can go."We had been walking to the elevator to go up to the study, but after a few moments of thought, I hugged her from behind and stopped us to say, "But I want you to stay. More than anything."She turned her head and gave me a kiss on the lips as best as she could from that angle, then after I loosened my hold on her, she turned herself around and reapplied her lips against mine and started to lick.My eyes closed and my arms pulled her tight as she licked the insides of my mouth, then she withdrew and said, "I won't do anything you don't want us to do."Opening my eyes and staring down into hers brought back so many familiar feelings and thoughts that it only seemed natural to pick her up and carry her to my room. But before we reached my bed, I realized didn't want to fuck her like that."Suz? Let's do something we've never done before. I don't want to.
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