"Don't worry hon," said his mother. Did she know his state of tumescence? "I thought I'd let you know that Kathleen called a couple times." Thanks, mom," he said loudly through the closed door."Is everything alright?" she asked."Fine." She sounded a little strange on the phone. I let her know you weren't expected until late, but I don't know if she heard. A bit noisy where she was. You kids should really turn down the music when you..." I suppose you're right. I'll talk to her about it. Thanks for the message," he said while staring down at the relentless rigidity demanding attention and not getting enough.The uncomfortable moments between son and mother were made more difficult when a series of honks from a car horn pierced the quiet suburban night. After a couple seconds, the pattern repeated. It was a Friday, and not yet nine p.m., but being a quiet neighborhood, the sound was disturbing. And it repeated again. His mother looked out the master bedroom window. His room did not have. ‘Brief Pause.‘Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.Put the phone down on the table, run upstairsAnd knock on the bedroom door and shout to MommyThat Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.’‘Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.’A few minutes laterThe little girl comes back to the phone.‘I did it, Daddy.’‘And what happened, honey?’‘Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bedwith no clothes on and ran around screaming.Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresserAnd now she isn’t moving at all!’‘Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?’‘He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too...He was all scared and he jumped out of the back windowAnd into the swimming pool.But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the waterLast week to clean it.He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he’s dead.’Long PauseLonger PauseEven Longer PauseThen Daddy says,‘Swimming pool?...Is this 486-5731?’No, I think you have the wrong number...This one is compliments of GaryClaim of titleOnly.
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