But I would never hook up with him, I told myself with conviction.For this reason, whenever I felt the mood of our hangout sessions changing from bromance to romance, I would use my foolproof mood-killing method of bringing up the topic of castration.“Did you know that Freud said that foot fetishes derive from a little boy seeing his mom’s vagina –– or lack of penis -- for the first time and thinking she was castrated? Supposedly he gets so terrified he looks down at her feet and becomes sexually fixated on them.” I expected his response to be something like, “Um yeah...I totally forgot to feed my cat! Gotta go bye!” Instead, he said, “You know, I have a foot fetish.”At first I was a bit freaked out. But the next time we hung out, he told me that I was the only person he had told among our group of MFA friends because I seemed accepting. This both flattered and intrigued me; we barely knew each other, but he felt he could tell me this secret. So I asked him more and more questions.. I sigh, my lovely afterglow is trickling away, as Nimrod presses me for more of my story.5 years and biped freak, he says and lowers his weight so he is like one big Nimrod blanket over me. I can feel his love and understanding seep through to my back.Why was the Mahy order the wrong order, other than the whole chaos thing? he asks.The Mahy, like the other orders were supposed to help, we- they are- were given parts, sectors of space that they were supposed to take care of. Watch, help, fix and the like. I stop again as the pain of the past comes crashing down on me.There, there, love, Nimrod say soothing and strokes his penis in and out, giving me something to focus on Õtil I can calm down.The Mahy went mad, I finally get out. They used what they knew to encourage the chaos to cause fear and terror.Oh dear goddess, he says, more alarmed by this than the whole loss of body parts. Nimrod stops his slow strokes and just wraps his arms and legs around me in a full body hug.Yeah, that is.
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