That was my steady date on the screen, and sexual excitement was one thing I most certainly was NOT feeling. Anger, pain, heartbreak, sadness, sympathy with a young girl, hatred for the people who’d taken advantage of her, gratitude for the ones who had treated her better. Oh yeah, I pretty much ran through the whole fucking list of the negative emotions. It was a bit like Pandora’s Box, but without a whole lot of hope.I’ll admit it; I was struggling to hold myself together. I’d fallen for Mel because she was smart, beautiful, on my wavelength, and a lady in all the best meanings of the word.Her Atlanta Starr persona most certainly was no lady; after the initial exploitation of a pretty teen, her performances developed a dark side that was new to me. Several of the movie roles showed her as a tramp, a slut, a cheating girlfriend or wife, a whore, and I simply did not recognize that person. Maybe it was what the studios thought sold better, maybe it paid her better.There were quite a. He was several years my junior. We were having a torrid affair, that he would remember for the rest of his life. I was having the affair that would actually define my life going forward. I felt a pang of jealousy and nostalgia wrapped together. Objectively, I knew what I had with Robert was temporary, and fleeting. Emotionally, I was feeling a desire for a longer term commitment. I knew it was stupid. I knew it was unrealistic. But I wanted this relationship to continue. I was falling in love. But I had come to accept the fact that I would cherish these memories, but they would soon be just that; memories. I felt a sudden sadness. Finally, we made it to the front of the queue at the Avis counter. The young black counter attendant was obviously impressed by the manner in which my nipples poked through the red cotton material. I knew his name was Jerome from the Avis tag on his shirt. Jerome stared fairly shamelessly at my erect titties. Because I had gotten myself slightly.
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