I dropped off my wife. We hugged and kissed after I removed her luggage from the back of her Escape.I cried for others many times. I had not cried for myself in quite a long time. I realized that the time for my wife's arrival at her destination had come and gone.No messages or calls to say, "Hi, I arrived safely".I started bawling my eyes out. I knew we were close to being done. Our marriage that is. I kept running away. She kept trying.I got up for a drink. I walked out back for a smoke. I know, I know. 53 and still smoking. I need to quit but it is damned hard to do so.My neighbor had been out there and was smoking. I saw her young sister and she was being playful. Fell down in the grass and tried to do cartwheels.Flashing her panties.I went back into the house and laid down in bed. Just to rest my eyes.Then I saw that little 10 year old girl lying in that hole in the ground. A small ditch or fire pit of some sort.I then replayed that scene from 43 years ago and contemplated the. Our second daughter was conceived in much the same way. Our family was complete. When my husband was discharged from active duty, we bought a small house in his home town. It was a good place to raise kids. We never bothered with birth control, and as the years went by, we resigned ourselves to being a family of four. I was 38 when we found out I was pregnant with our first son. We were ecstatic, but we were warned their might be complications due to my age. We did all the tests the doctors wanted to put me through and every thing was okay. Three years later, we were doing it all over again. My husband was as proud a father as anyone would want to see, but it was then that our sex life took a nose dive. With four children to clothe and feed and plan educations for, well, my husband became a workaholic. He didn't want me working, although my income as a Registered Nurse would have helped out immensely. I have to admit, I did enjoy being a stay at home wife and mother. .
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