I smiled back.Renée asked Tabitha, "Remember what we discussed before, about how you'd like to show your boss what you really want?"I had no clue what Renée was going on about, but her question lit up Tabitha's eyes. "God, do I. It would even serve him right if I left today, especially with as busy as it is." Her sarcasm was lost on me and I glanced about the store. There wasn't another soul in the area, but just outside the masses passed by on their way to other shops.Eyes peered into the t-shirt shop though, women who had followed me and wondered if they might have a chance. Even with me standing at the counter and countless prying eyes, no one else entered. I looked back to the girls to find both of them staring at me too. "What?" We need your help with this." Renée answered.I liked to help people. "What kind of help?"Renée began to explain, "Tabitha's boss, Tom, is a real jerk and a sexual harassment case waiting to happen."Tabitha nodded to confirm. Renée continued, "He likes to. This time it's a choice.I didn't choose to be female. But I am. Can I truly consciously un-choose that?I am, by and large, used to be being this.Sure there are some aspects of being a woman I may not be great at. Myrefusal to develop and express my sexuality for one. But I maintain thatis more to do with being raped than being formerly male. But as for therest, by and large, I feel indistinguishable from any other member of mygender.Isn't there something to be said for 'better the devil you know?'I suspect if I think too much about it, when the time came, I probablywill freeze up.I realise therefore, the key point to commit me to the process of'turning back' is the obvious simple truth.This life is shit now.I've got to get out of it.And I need to do whatever it takes to achieve that.Chapter 14Neither Beth nor Caitlin answered their phone when I rang them nextmorning. This was a disturbing trend of late, generally.It made me think of someone else who'd been suspiciously silent.3 days.
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