He smiled at her. She smiled back faintly. Her smile didn’t invite him to go further, but it didn’t reject him either. The exchange of smiles was enough for her. But not for him. He was going to follow her tomorrow and find out where she worked. God, I’m a stalker, he thought. If only he could get up off his arse and introduce himself, then he wouldn’t have to…. stalk her. That was silly. He wasn’t stalking, he just wanted to find out where she worked. Only because he was too shy to get off his arse and ask her. He sat there, across from her, willing himself to say hello. Of course, he didn’t. He sat there for the whole thirty minute journey imagining how it would be if they could go out for a drink or dinner or….. Or what? It was all a fantasy. He would never have the guts to talk to her. And he knew it. The red lipstick. He wondered if she….went down. If she would…. suck. He didn’t like thinking of her like that. It was crude. But he did. He couldn’t help it. Hands on her small. And then I got that letter from Mat today and he asks me, "Can you write while fucking?" Well, hell, the man is out of his mind. Father O'Brien told me a parishioner had asked him if it was all right to smoke while praying. "No," he said, "but it's OK to pray while smoking." Which isn't much to the point but it's funny. So I can't fuck while writing but maybe I can write while fucking except the fountain pen would probably leak and there's no way to get a keyboard in bed. Unless I got one of those wireless ones. Which reminds me I've got to buy a whole new set of linens because everything is wearing out, and there's no time to do that either because--Oh, Bob's coming up and am I glad, because if I go to sleep before he comes up he'll wake me and no telling how long it'll take to get back to sleep and I really do have to sleep to be fit to get all that stuff done tomorrow.It'll be Thursday so maybe the Turnpike traffic won't be too bad and I can take my time shopping. Damn! I need a.
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