She was bent over, her hands clasping at her stomach like she had cramps. She was looking down at the floor—or had her eyes closed. "I guess it started after I lost the baby."She started the first of her heart rending crying jags after saying that. When she had recovered somewhat, she continued, "It wasn't only the loss of something that was a part of me, of us, but that we would never be able to have children. I know it bothered you, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. I threw myself into my work ... and I know I didn't give you the time you wanted and needed from me. I was doing a lot of surgeries, even volunteering to cover for other doctors whenever that came up."I was having trouble staying as alert as I needed to be when doing an operation, so I got a prescription for amphetamines from my doctor. She renewed it once but wouldn't do it again. She said it was too dangerous. I didn't listen to her. I got more from other people at the hospital—it wasn't hard. I was close to. . Then how much Marla was charging me for Sandra. I never worried about cost when I was working Sandra's side of appointments. My clients might be so well off financially that they could afford me with what they considered pocket change but this was costing me a fortune! While I was thinking these thoughts, the same light touch on my arm guided me to sit on the suite's couch. Turning to face me, Sandra sat close enough to rest her arm on the back of the couch with her hand touching my shoulder. Damn, her moves were smooth...After we sipped our drinks a couple of times, Sandra's fingers were massaging my neck causing my tense shoulders to relax. "I was also told that you're curious what it's like to be with a woman," she said in a silky, smooth alto. "When did you first become curious?"I found my voice and finally contributed to what had been a mostly one-sided conversation. "Ahh, in high school. A sleepover. A bunch of us were at my best friend's house and we were talking about boys.
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