He didn't want a servant or a slave; he wanted a partner fully equal to him in every way. Unfortunately that was something she couldn't be, although she was getting better at it. One great thing about their triad relationship was she now had someone to talk to who understood her probably better than she did herself. Talking with Pam helped her more than all the sessions with Dr. Black combined."Don't try so hard, darling," Pam said one day as they sat around the kitchen table shooting the breeze. "I know what you mean even if it doesn't seem to come out right. This bit about having to have reasons and Evan being your reason giver is just a different way of looking at what a lot of us feel. Some of us do it strictly for the sexual rush. Why does it get us so horny knowing someone else has complete control of us? Beats me, and what's more I don't care. Nothing I do hurts anyone except possibly me and with our baby-doll master I know that isn't going to happen unless I want it to.". But then, who knows how many readers may have read it and found it arousing? They are the perverts, not me. They, jerking off while reading how that poor girl was held down and fucked by three men. They are perverts, Marquis, the big perverts. Our audience, not us. We are, at worst, like a metal company forging guns; the readers are the ones who buy them and use them for killing, for hunting, or just put it on the back of the closet because they are actually afraid of guns."And we were not the perverts, Athena and I, even if we met in secret, locking ourselves in an empty bedroom to have sex and talk. Does it make any sense at all? We were there, just the two of us, leaving the world to be in peace for half an afternoon. The sex was pure, inconsequential; not a statement of free love, not a escape from bad or unattractive lovers, not an outlet for our hidden desires. It was just something that felt good, what we felt to be a harmless game that was not played to win, but to pass time..
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